And I’m petrified.
Everything is just too good to be damn true. Before we get to the quarterback, let’s consider the following:
- Nick Bosa and Dee Ford (!) not stuck in the trainer’s room
- Jalen Hurd running routes
- Deebo and Aiyuk tearing it up
- 2nd string d-line looking like they can all easily start in the NFC East
- Jason Verrett making plays
- Fred Warner making plays
- Tavon Wilson (?!) making plays
- George Kittle
- The next great offensive and defensive coordinators, if dope press conferences were an indicator.
Oh, and we have two good options at quarterbacks. We get a juiced-up and pissed off Jimmy Garappolo throwing his heart out on ten-yard crossing routes, and we have a budding legend in Trey Lance.
Trey Lance is just the part that sparks the most hope, and Jimmy G slinging it is the part that makes the dream shimmer a little bit. Up until now, the taste of glory felt so real and vivid that you just accepted this was your life, and you were hyped.
But then you see Jimmy effing Garappolo sling bullets, and you start rubbing your eyes and the spinning top wobbles, and you remember you still have an alarm to worry about.
It’s too much. It’s over the top. It’s like a badly written movie script. As a Bay Area sports fan, you’re used to heartbreak. You’re used to seeing the most legendary players go into our stadiums and break our hearts to everyone’s delight. You’re used to our most legendary players play their hearts out just so they can suffer a devastating freak injury.
Maybe the victim mentality runs a little thick — I can accept that I’m a red-and-gold blooded Forty Whiner. No, I don’t do wine and cheese at the games because I’m more into either bourbon barrel-aged coffee stouts or trippy, hazy, foggy IPAs, but only those with a good texture because the hops can get overwhelming sometimes. I’ll take the jokes from the other sports fan bases because I get to experience the joy of seeing our freaking GUYS run out on game day in those Cherry reds.
The dream would feel much more real if it was just Jimmy having a good training camp, with some whatever backup like Andy Dalton not falling on their faces during 11 on air. It would feel reasonable, and all we’d ask for was healthy Nick Bosa. Aiyuk and Deebo are getting better, and our RBs running behind a fortified offensive line would feel like the most natural step forward, the growth you can reasonably expect.
You wouldn’t know if it was enough to win the West outright, but you liked those chances. Now, with Lance flicking 50-yard bombs while rolling in the opposite direction IN HIS SIXTH TRAINING CAMP PRACTICE, it feels like anything is possible.
A truly elite mobile QB offers a sense of magic to your team because they need the minimum time possible to score in the fourth quarter. Look at Kyler Murray, considered the lower end of the “upper tier” mobile QBs, winning on the literal last second on the most chaotic ass play possible. That chaos is magic, and just the non-zero chance at that changes everything for the 49ers.
The dream gets so absurd when you consider that our defense and playmakers are good enough to have a chance without an elite mobile QB. The Bucs last year wouldn’t have won without an absolutely elite front four just taking full advantage of their mismatch against KC’s sputtering o-line. The elite pass rush is the only thing that can overcome not having the elite mobile QB, and we have Nick Bosa and Dee Ford wearing real football pads in a real football practice.
Going on Twitter is so delightful during practice days that Jack Dorsey should send a gift basket to @Splash_Cousin and the 49ers beat writers. Every time you refresh the timeline, it’s another dope play being made. Jimmy goes; he’s on fire. Lance goes, he’s rocketing that sh*t. I’m knocking on wood so much that my knuckles are getting a little raw.
I’m bating my breath until the last possible moment.. until the clock runs to zero during the Super Bowl. It’s going to be a helluva ride — Levi’s will be a spiritual experience, but I won’t dare to dream.
Not unless Trey Lance hits a bomb on the Seahawks. If that happens, I’m dropping MONEY.