The Giants might not win it all in real life, but they can on the silver screen!
Since we can only imagine the rest of the Giants’ season going better than it has to this point, why not go all the way with it and imagine the impossible?
The San Francisco Giants won’t win the World Series this year. But what if they did?
We’re at the point where the only logical thing left to root for is an unpredictable volume of positive luck to push them into the final Wild Card spot. So, since this is all wishful thinking, why not let our freakish imaginations run truly wild and envision a movie about this dumpy little team going on the wildest of Wild Card runs?
Imagine a story about wealthy underdogs who persevere in the face of overwhelming odds and a distinct lack of elite talent, with only a proprietary and dispassionate math model to guide them. It’ll take a lot of courage to stare down certain failure and angry fans and say, “No. The math is right. We are good and will win.” We’ll go the James Cameron route of simply adding an “s” to the sequel and call this one…
Moneyball$
The plot:
When the real world results do not match up with his all-knowing computer model, the smartest baseball exec in human history must fight to preserve his methods even when everyone is against him because, ultimately, he will be proven correct.
But who would we get to act in such a movie? That’s no easy task, mainly because the key Giants figures in this story are unique. A casting director would have to find actors who capture each real person’s spirit in order to convey to the audience their importance and emotinal reality.
Brad Pitt might’ve been a glow up for Billy Beane, but Beane was no slouch in the looks department, and Pitt brought a visible anxiety to the part (in the way he moves, how he’s constantly eating) that reflected the character’s/real person’s emotional interiority: he’s always on edge because he’s got to figure out how to adapt (or die!).
It won’t be easy to do the same for the Giants since their situation is much different from the Moneyball A’s story. They’re a model franchise that is in the middle of a massive run of success (as defined by profit & loss statements, I mean). Still, we’re imagining a world where the Smartest Guys In The Room are able to math their mediocre roster into the playoffs and win it all. Let’s take some big swings with their faces:
Dev Patel as Farhan Zaidi
Of course, any good story needs a great hero, and as the sole talent in the organization, and the only reason for any of the team’s success (but none of its failings), it’s important to get the most dynamic face and charismatic talent assigned to this role. and if/when the season turns around and the Giants make it into the postseason and 100% luck their way to the World Series like the Diamondbacks did, win or lose that World Series, it will all have been thanks to Zaidi’s mind and actions. At least, that’s the way it would be told in Moneyballs.
Patel is an Academy Award-nominated actor who has also won a BAFTA and a SAG Award. He would have a very easy time playing a character committed to bending the world to his will in order to avoid confronting the emptiness inside himself. It would be a very powerful role about what it means to be a god above mere mortals. The loneliness of power, etc. He’s also very handsome and his looks would help the audience understand why he’s been able to keep his job despite all the mediocrity.
Timothy Simons as Pete Putila
Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, for HBO
Putila has a firm hand on the minor league development, which from the outside mostly looks like calling up young players as quickly as possible, regardless of circumstance. He also looks to be a serious person, but because Patel’s Zaidi must be so many facets, the Putila character necessarily has to play second banana, and for that reason it makes a lot of sense to cast a comedic sidekick in this role. Simons has been a very funny presence on screens for years, including HBO’s “Veep.”
The real Putila stands 6’5” and Simons is a 6’4” actor whose role on “Veep” involved him playing a freakishly tall man who served as the butt of everyone’s jokes. He obviously has more performance versatility, but he and Putila look so similar that it just seems to be the perfect casting choice.
John C. Reilly as Bob Melvin
Photo by Barry Brecheisen/Getty Images
I just think he’s a great actor who can play Melvin’s silent confusion with ease. Whereas Philip Seymour Hoffman played Art Howe with a bit of menace, Reilly could show some real vulnerability while also flashing defensiveness as the aging manager rages against the dying of his career’s light.
Sydney Sweeney as Alyssa Nakken
Photo by Jaime Nogales/Medios y Media/Getty Images
Of course, in order to land her in the cast they’ll need to beef up Nakken’s role on the roster, so in Moneyball$ she’d probably be a composite of multiple coaches; but, she’s modern and will help sell this old IP (Moneyball) to a younger audience.
Plus, the crucial second act scene where she helps one of the Giants’ IT people troubleshoot a database error that unlocks the right figures to fix Grant McCray’s strikeout tendencies will be made a lot better by Sweeney’s electric smile.
Bob Odenkirk as Bryan Price
Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images
It might be hard to square the Chicago accent with Price’s West Coast accent, but few actors in Hollywood better sell “confused rageaholic” better than ol’ Bob.
Jesse Plemmons as Logan Webb
Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images
At 36, he’s a little old to be playing Webb (27), but he carries youthful energy on top of a dynamic range of performance that can fit the Webb role in this story, so I don’t think it’d be such a stretch that it would take you out of the reality. Webb’s perspective is critical in this movie. Dev Patel’s character has sold him on a long-term strategy in order to covince Webb to sign a below market extension, but just a year later Webb fears he’s been had.
John Boyega as LaMonte Wade Jr.
Photo by Unique Nicole/WireImage
I am not usually a fan of British actors taking American roles, but I see this as a role of a lifetime for Boyega. The guy has so much charisma and on-screen presence that I think it would be a fine challenge for him to channel all that through what is, effectively, a static character. Oft-injured, barely able to move, LaMonte Wade Jr. is a monument to the Moneyball ethos of finding value in spare parts. Boyega is anything but a spare part, but that’s why he’s basically the perfect choice for this role.
Kyle Gallner as Michael Conforto
Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images
This is, admittedly, a 1:1 resemblance thing. But Gallner’s star is rising a bit here in the 2020s (though, I remember him mostly from “Veronica Mars”) and so catching him in this part of a guy who is sort of over it but also playing with pride might give this group some good energy. And, as a former Met, the character can offer a lot of perspective and advice about falling comically short of expectations every year.
Jung Hoo Lee as Jung Hoo Lee
Photo by Adam Glanzman/MLB Photos via Getty Images
Why fight it? The man is a star in any arena.
Austin Butler as Patrick Bailey
Photo by Emma McIntyre/WireImage
Bailey being hurt a lot means that all Austin Butler has to do is sit around and look handsome, dispensing North Carolina countryfolk wisdom to his teammates as needed. This will probably be a smaller role, but given Bailey’s importance to the team, he should be played by a recognizable face.
George Clooney as Greg Johnson
Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images
An actor who is always willing to be a little pathetic or a little bumbling if he also gets to be suave from time to time, I think this would be a perfect casting choice for the Giants’ Chairman of the Board of Directors & MLB Control Person; because, the story Moneyball$ is trying to tell is that the Moneyball method does work, it’s just that sometimes there’s bad luck that gets in the way.
By filling out this cast with attractive people, audiences will be much more open to “it’s just bad luck” than anything like misspent money, questionable priorities, whiffs in scouting and coaching hires, reluctance to alter strategies or review processes — the cast paints over the holes with a sort of “Aww shucks — if these good looking people are struggling, then anyone can. They’re so relatable!”
And that’s the theme of Moneyball$: the model works. The players are the problem.
We can spend the next few weeks wondering if that idea holds up to scrutiny when six years of managing a 40-man roster from the bottom up and ruthlessly churning through players leads to Spencer Bivens pitching in the 9th inning of a crucial game or consistently fielding a lineup that can’t get the big hit.
In the meantine, we’re faced with the far from fictional story of the 2024 Giants: in order to salvage their real, actual season, they will need a happy ending you’d only see in a movie.