Review: Steph Curry on ‘Hot Ones’

The Warriors star took on the ‘Wings Of Death’ and survived

Golden State Warriors fans have seen Steph Curry get insanely hot. But aside from Kyrie Irving in the 2016 NBA Finals, Curry has never faced an opponent quite as hot as the ten sauces he faced in this week’s appearance on “Hot Ones.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, “Hot Ones” features host Sean Evans and a celebrity guest. While Evans conducts a surprisingly thoughtful interview, he and his guest both consume a series of progressively-hotter chicken wings, culminating in “The Last Dab,” a sauce made from “Pepper X,” allegedly the hottest chili pepper in the world.

While Curry claimed he avoided spicy food entirely growing up, he credits his wife Ayesha Curry’s cooking – and her Jamaican heritage – for building up his spice tolerance. Let’s go through his performance.

Wing 1: Classic Chili Maple. 1600 units on the Scoville Scale of hotness

Curry has little trouble with the first wing, dealing with the first-round matchup like the Classic Chili Maple is a Damian Lillard-led playoff team. He declares the sauce “pretty good,” but does not endorse Evans’ description of it as “finger-lickin’.” Curry also says he does not regret going to a mid-major like Davidson, because he needed the experience on the court. He may regret going on this show.

Wing 2: La Pimenterie’s “Curry Verde”. 6000 Scoville units

The two-time MVP declared it was “his favorite one” based on name alone, and he enjoyed both the spice and the flavor. Curry also had no trouble with the question, admitting that the rarity of a hole-and-one made it more memorable than any half-court shot “unless it was a 75-footer to win the NBA title.”

Wing 3: Zesty Lemon Pepper from The Crabby Shack: 15,500 Scoville units

Before finishing his wing, Curry expresses his admiration for Evans’ quick release on the wings, getting the hot wing up and into his mouth like Klay Thompson putting up a catch-and-shoot three. That leads to a discussion of the “hot hand” phenomenon, one that Curry absolutely believes in, just like he believes in the lemon pepper flavor. Speaking of the hot hand, Curry’s hand is clearly covered in potent spices already.

Wing 4: “Chicho-Ghost Hot Sauce” by Chile Lengua De Fuego: 36,500 Scoville units

Curry is immediately hesitant because of the sauce’s name. “I don’t want anything to do with ‘De Fuego,’” he tells Evans. Still, he wolfs down the wing easily. He’s such a fierce competitor that producers had to warn Curry that he didn’t need to eat all of each wing.

Wing 5: Los Calientes Rojo: 49,000 Scovilles

At this point, Curry finally admits that he’s having some trouble with the heat, acknowledging that his lips are burning. Evans recommends that Curry shouldn’t pretend it’s not bothering him, and that he should “soak in” the miserable experience. As he sweats, Curry claims that his NY Times popcorn article made all the NBA areas bring up their popcorn game. It seems clear he will not be recommending Los Calientes Rojo-flavored popcorn.

Wing 6: Mako Snake Hot Sauce from The Spicy Shark: 71,000 Scovilles

We have reached halftime and Curry announces that he’s still energized. “I’m a third quarter player!” he declares. Normally, this is when Curry would go online and read what his haters were saying about his ability to eat spicy food, and get motivated to prove them wrong. Unfortunately, this show is taped.

This wing finally makes Curry break a visible sweat, and the delayed effect of the 70K Scovilles makes him pause.

Wing 7: Jalapeño Chico Hot Sauce from Adoboloco: 103,000 Scovilles

Before the 7th wing, Evans tells Curry that no NBA player has ever tapped out on “Hot Ones.” Curry declares they’ll have to “wheel him out of here” to get him to quit. We’re pretty sure there’s no way Curry would let himself deliver a worse wing-eating performance than Kevin Durant.

Curry gets a second wind talking about shooting. He gets choked up talking about Klay Thompson’s perfect form, but we’re pretty sure it’s the smoked ghost peppers, not the beauty of his elevation and release. What does Curry believe is the fatal flaw in shooting? Appropriately enough, it’s the “chicken wing.”

Wing 8: Evolution Hot Sauce’s “Da’ Bomb Beyond Insanity”: 135,000 Scovilles

The design of the bottle, featuring a large nuclear bomb, worries Curry right away. It doesn’t get better when he actually tries it. Some choice quotes:

“I didn’t even get that on my teeth before it hit me!”

“Why does it just sit on my tongue?”

“Oh my God. That is insane. I can’t believe you do this every day.”

“It only gets worse!”

The eighth wing is so spicy that individual tears are coming out of Curry’s eyes as he tells Evans that he patterned his game on Steve Nash and Reggie Miller. “I get emotional when I talk about these two legends,” he deadpans.

Curry also says he was inspired by Alonzo Mourning’s elaborate free throw routine. and what was a big part of it? Wiping away sweat, something Curry’s is wisely doing with the back of his hands.

Wing 9: Watermelon Ghost Hot Sauce by Alchemy Peppers: 641,000 Scovilles

Curry can barely open his eyes, but he doesn’t need to keep his eyes open! We’ve seen him nail a look-away three-pointer countless times. While he says he needs a sweatband, Curry is still taking big bites without any nibbles. Even on “Hot Ones,” he’s going for the big play, and explains to Evans, “I’m winning a real, real significant bet with my family right now.”

While he sweats, Curry describes a memorable play against Kobe Bryant. Despite the Warriors having a 30-point lead in a pre-season game, Bryant picked up Curry full-court, hounding him and bumping him. Then Curry drained a three over him, and called it the biggest “Keep your cool” moment of his life.

Of course, after acting like it was no big deal, he got to the locker room and immediately demanded someone send him the clip. “I need to have it on my phone!”

Wing 10: The Last Dab: Apollo

Game 7. 4th quarter. The last dab. Curry goes for it, absolutely soaking his wing with the pungent sauce. He’s pretending to be so unbothered that he even does the Paul Rudd, “Look at us.”

As if the wing wasn’t bad enough, Evans also quizzes Curry about his first college game, where he committed 13 turnovers. Curry can’t help coughing as he chews it up, and interrupts his remembrance of breaking the all-time three-point record by shouting, “Ohhh, it’s kicking in right now!”

But he finishes strong, and “never took his foot off the gas, true to form” according to Evans. Curry completed the gauntlet, and did it without taking a single sip of water. Truly a fine performance, though he probably won’t get a Last Dab MVP trophy – they’ll pick a Nike athlete.

Congratulation to Curry for baby-facedly assassinating the world’s hottest wings! And while next year could get quite heated with Chris Paul and Draymond Green sharing a locker room, Curry can be assured it still won’t be as hot as Watermelon Ghost Hot Sauce.